fool me once...every time.

Once again I let myself believe that there might be the slightest chance that I could ever find bliss in your company. I guess it's my fault for dropping my guards. I could've just stayed away and not fall prey to your childish games. But I thought I knew you. I thought I could trust you. Maybe I did know you. The person you used to be. You are not that person anymore. Or maybe you've always been that but I didn't notice because you are a pretentious jerk putting up a facade, lurking in your prey, gaining their trust. And once you feel like you've had enough, you bail. You crawl back into your shell.

You disappoint me. There is nothing wrong with me wanting to be with you. But there is definitely something wrong with you not wanting me to be with you. You're disgusting! And I thought you were up there. Turns out you're lower than most of them. I'm beginning to hate myself for ever meeting up with you again. And when I hate myself, it hurts too much, more than you can even understand.

Stained Velvet

I stare into her petals, stained black with heartache yet sturdy rose, ever strong, never wilting under the pain. For her roots are deep and the blood in her veins strong. Suffering through tears of rage, the tormenting drought of despair, waiting for a moment of crowning glory. Yearning for the sun's warm breath, she rises again. Though battered and broken, she strives on. Her thirst for enlightenment never fails to astound me, as if for the first time every time. Like the first time our souls touched, her gazed wandered upon mine, curiousity in her eyes, draining me of my essence. Spirits entwined as passion consumes my whole being. The irony of her innocence indict angst in such a precious delicate psyche. She is my woman, my curse, my salvation. Together we will venture into this eternal bliss of meaningless existence searching for what is lost and gaining what is rightfully ours. And finally pulling the stopper on time that our tortured sould will be finally put to rest.

Riunire....

He shivered slightly as the chilly winter breeze grazed his face. It was a nice day for a funeral. Snow covered the grassy hills. And the morning dew gave the shrubs a certain sparkle.

Not too long ago he was standing in that same spot. Counting leaves as they fall one by one to the ground. Once green foliage turned into a fiery amber shade over the course of the season.

Like the vibrance of the sun's amorous glare, her life was. Come dusk, the glow of that magnificent ball of fire begin to morph into a lovely shadow of what once was. Then it bids farewell over the horizon.

A fog of desolation hovered above him. He watched the small crowd gathered around a casket a few yards from where he was standing hidden behind trees. Their faces in life, melting into their faces in untimely death by his hands.

Flashes of dreams, bits and pieces of past memories jostled painfully with each other, trying frantically to get out of his chaotic mind. He closed his eyes tighter and forced himself to take deeper breaths urging his body to calm down. He bit his lips hard so that pain could overcome the much more excruciating anguish that was hidden deep within. The pain he could cope with but not the one which was threatening to erupt at any moment.

He wanted to scream. He wanted to scream because he didn't know what else to do. He wanted to scream until it seals the hole that was his heart.

Tears begin to sear down his paralyzed face. Pouring from each emotionless eye down carved red paths, burning his flesh. He thinks it must be his tortured soul fleeing his ashen body. Drop by drop onto the soggy lawn. Dripping. Drowning out the cries of the beasts. His soul in a puddle of mud.

The fog drifted over him, the haze pulling him along to drift. Reality, dreams, everything was faded and unreal. He closed his eyes as his body surrendered. He felt the warm touch of her hand on him. It was over. He started to let the glow of her love wrap itself around his haggard body.