Life Sucks! Deal with it!!!

No ear can hear nor tongue can tell the tortures of the inward hell!
-Lord Byron-


She just wanted to feel like she's still an okay person. Everyone tells her that she is, but it doesn't mean anything. She just looks at them and think, what the fuck do they know? Everything is crashing down around her and she doesn't know how to make it stop.

As she turned away from the one thing she thought is the best thing in her life, she recalled the apathy she'd seen in his eyes. The few times she had really looked at him closely. The realization was a sobering one. She did what she had to do.

It was never easy being the rational person that she is. She was sick of thinking and analysing. For once, she just wanted to feel. And feeling is what brought her here today.

You can force someone to be responsible, but you can't force them to care. And she cared, yes. A lot. But that wasn't enough. It's never enough.

Despite her tears, she laughed. Giving him her best aloof look she said, "I'll be okay." She knew that wasn't true. At least for a while.

An irrational part of her had wanted him to hurt like he'd hurt her. Also, she wished for nothing more than for someone to place their arms around her and whisper in her ear that everything would be fine. She stood there. Her back to him. Waiting. He walked away.

Her grief lay coiled inside her, a sleeping beast, and she was afraid to move or speak in case she woke it. She was numb. Numb and cold and empty. What was left of her was just this. Just an empty shell, a cruel twist of fate.

She has to hang in there and do the time. That's the one thing she knows is going to change. For every sucky day she lives, she won't have to live it again. It's done. She did it. Move on. Maybe the next one won't suck. And if it does, same philosophy. Just, do the time.

She's just gonna have to figure this out as it goes along.