What if I...

What if I was good to you,
What if you were good to me?
What if I could hold you
'til I feel you move inside of me?
What if it was paradise,
What if we were symphonies?
What if I gave all my life
to find some way to stand beside you?
Lonely No More-Rob Thomas

Do not ponder too much on the "what if's" and "what could've been's" what is important is the "what is" and the "what will be."

Think about it, we all waste our time whining and depressing over the "one that got away" that we forget to acknowledge the ones that are around and the ones that stay around. Be thankful for the past, live in the present and be ready for the future.

I was determined to run away as far as possible from the one person that means so much to me. I figured it would be easier for him and for me if we didn't see each other as much as we used to. Then we met again, and I decided that I could just go and tell him how I really feel. Go for it. At least I took the risk of letting him know, than just let it pass "wondering what if?" I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, that he might, even for the smallest fraction of a chance, feel the same way about me. I wanted to act like the person that I say I am and just face my fears and go for it. Then, fear took over, so we just sat there and had a nice conversation over coffee and biscottis. Once again, he got away. Then it hit me, he didn't really. I let him get away.

We all waste our time whining and depressing over the "one that got away" that we forget to acknowledge the ones that are around and the ones that stay around. Be thankful for the past, live in the present and be ready for the future

I always thought that he was "the one that got away" that I failed to see that he is actually "the one that's been around" for me for all these years. And he may very well be "the one that'll stay around," in some ways at least.

I've been obsessing about wanting to be with him so badly that i practically sabotaged our friendship. I've been whinning about what he wouldn't give me and what he has taken away from me. What i didn't realize what that the things that he has done/given me are far more valuable than what i'm wanting. You cannot ask for love, it is given to you freely. When you are ready to accept it, you cannot choose the kind of love that is given to you. So i am thankful that i felt loved and I am still loved.

Now I'm beginning to see how much this person cares for me. It is more than enough of what I deserve. I have been selfish and greedy, wanting what i cannot have and wanting it so bad that i hurt the people that really matters.

I am so sorry.

I wondered, what if i was good to you? What if I held on? What if I said the words back? I'll never know now, would I?

Il mio amico,
Mi ricorderò sempre dell'amore che lo avete dato.
Ameró voi fino al giorno muoio.