I weep. Still

You know that saying people use? How, a million words couldn't bring you back. I know because I've tried. And neither would a million tears. I know because I've cried

All I feel is numb, and then the deadly stab of cold, hard, uncaring, apathetic reality. And then numbness once more.

I'd apologize for all those things that I'd said to you. Even if it meant swallowing my pride and admitting I was wrong. You meant so much more to me than you knew. More than I knew. And now you mean that much more. But that fact is twice as painful than it ever was before. You were such a strong, amazing person. You always will be. Why did you have to go?