The cape had to come off at one point

Why be capable of feelings if we're not to have them?
Why long for things if they're not meant to be ours?
-Isolde-
-Tristan and Isolde-


They shared a moment. But just because they had that doesn't mean it was real. It could very well be the product of his overactive imagination. He had to dig deeper. He had to know.

He wanted to believe in something, anything. He wanted to feel like he was not entirely void. He had to let her in.

Almost instantly that tiny ball of hope started to spread like bushfire, fast and without mercy all over his exhausted body. He chewed on his lower lips.

He dared take the chance. But this sudden revived hope was somehow dashed and the pain he would have to endure wouldn’t be bearable.

He wasn't asking for anything beyond the moment. He knew it won’t be perfect. First times are far from perfect. But really, it’s not about being perfect is it? It’s about expressing something between two people. Perfect happens sometime later when you are completely comfortable with each other.

The worse part is, he had known all along they'd been a lie, and while he had honestly tried to resist her at first, ultimately he had failed. Failed her, failed himself. And this scratched at his still bleeding heart and he almost broke down then and there.

He wanted nothing more at this point than for the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

This is what he gets for believing.

Cutting himself off from his own feelings isn't the answer to healing himself. But this is the road he choses to take. It's easier not to look it when he's trying his damnest not to feel it. He's fine. Disappointed, but fine. The hardest part was how quickly he had to move on.

So after all that's been, he said good night and closed his eyes.

He'll be fine, he had to be.